Because one day I may have a daughter. And, if I do, by God she will be a woman.
Rule #93: A woman waits for no man. A man waits for every woman. A woman may wait for another woman, depending on the nature of their relationship.
Rule #109: A woman must own a motorcycle and know how to ride and repair it. She must grow her hair long enough so that, when she is driving her motorcycle, her hair flails about in the wind. Alternately, her hair must be short enough so that, upon removing her helmet, everyone is shocked that there was a woman under there the whole time, and she's fucking gorgeous.
Rule #30: A woman must visit Vancouver. She will love it there.
Rule #72: A woman never "goes Dutch." A woman either pays or does not pay. This rule also applies to men.
Rule #87: A woman always sneezes as cutely as possible. Properly executed, a womanly sneeze should sound like a tiny fairy saying the word "chew." Practice this.
Rule #168: A woman must be fearless in referencing her menstrual periods. Bawdy and vulgar terms are preferred. The bawdier and more vulgar, the better.
Rule #8: A woman does not concern herself with her weight. She eats what she wants, when she wants, and then she runs, steps, or spins like hell. The end result is her ideal weight.
Rule #190: A woman must have a plan to start her own business. It may never be executed, but THERE MUST BE A PLAN.
Rule #133: A woman must designate one pairs of socks to be her "lucky" socks.
Rule #134: There must also be one pair of lucky boots.
Rule #135: And a lucky hat.
Rule #81: A woman must swear, but with precision.
Rule #1: A woman must disregard most advice proferred by men.
2 comments:
This is brilliant.
Just tryin' to raise em right.
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